


Some Wounds Heal, It Just Takes Time

by floralsuitian



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Character Death, Future Fic, Ian Visits Monica, M/M, Sad with a Happy Ending, head canon, post s10
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-18
Updated: 2020-07-18
Packaged: 2021-03-05 04:33:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,756
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25368436
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/floralsuitian/pseuds/floralsuitian
Summary: Five years after her death, Ian goes to visit Monica and tells her that he married Mickey, and finally feels some closure.
Relationships: Gallavich - Relationship, Ian Gallagher/Mickey Milkovich
Comments: 2
Kudos: 146





	Some Wounds Heal, It Just Takes Time

**Author's Note:**

> Hello friends!! Here's a random one shot I wrote cause I was bored and wanted to share something with you guys. Hope you enjoy this one; it's a bit depressing but it felt vital to have Ian kind of wrap up his relationship with Monica in a way, even after years, so I hope you like it : )

**_~ September 18th, 2022 ~_ **

Five years. That’s how long it’s been since Monica died. Since she disappeared _again,_ but for real this time. The kids had let it go long before she had passed, but it didn’t mean it was easy for any of them. They still thought about her sometimes; Lip would see something in the house that reminded him of her and he would unintentionally smile, or he would think about how Freddie would never get to meet her. Debbie would remember the little amount of time Franny got with her before she passed. Liam was too young to remember her but he saw her in photos and would ask Lip and Carl and Ian about her sometimes. Carl missed her most days but most of the time he didn’t. And Ian. Ian missed her the most. He missed her more than he wanted to admit. 

He woke up before Mickey, kissing him on the cheek gently, and leaving him a note on the nightstand in case he woke up while he was gone. He wanted to go down and see her grave site again. Lip had told Ian it wasn’t healthy for him to, that he shouldn’t be going down to see her if it was going to mess with him, but he missed her and it had been five years since she had passed. So he went. 

He mentioned her at his wedding to Debbie; how he missed her and it broke him to think that she was missing all of it. He remembers Debbie saying that she would’ve loved it; the atmosphere and just watching one of her sons, her _kids,_ get married. For real.

So he goes to see her. At the grave site. Where the last time they were all here together was to retrieve the bags of meth Fiona had buried in the coffin with her. Her headstone was fixed now, a huge chunk in the corner no longer missing, and Ian sits in front of it, staring at the stone for a long time. He picks at the grass, listens to the trees blowing lightly in the wind, the distant sounds of cars and sirens and horns in the distance. Ian;s lips curve up into a small smile and he stares at Monica’s headstone again. 

“Hey, mom. It’s...Ian.”

Silence. Of course there’s silence; she’s fucking dead, but it doesn’t make Ian feel any better.

“I’m sorry I haven’t come to see you in awhile. I’ve been busy with things,” he looks at his wedding bands sitting comfortably on his left hand and tears begin to form in the corner of his eyes. 

“I...got married. Kinda crazy, huh?” He runs his thumb over the bands, smiles. “To Mickey Milkovich. You remember him? He’s the one that I was obsessed with when you took me to that gay club.”

It’s not a pleasant memory but Ian chuckles at it anyways, the image of a fifteen-year-old Ian in a gay club with his _mother_ to distract him from losing Mickey again beginning to play on repeat in his brain. 

“We found our way back to each other. We always seem to do that, even now.” Ian looks at the gravestone again. Reads her carved name over and over again and feels tears welling in the corner of his eyes. 

“And now he’s my husband,” Ian lets out before he begins to cry softly, “I married the one person that you said didn’t understand me. The one person who you said wouldn’t love me for me. The one fucking person who gave a shit about me, so _fuck_ you, mom! _Fuck_ you!”

Ian screams at the headstone, presses his right palm against his eye to wipe away his tears. 

“I came down here cause I wanted to tell you how much we haven’t needed you since you left. Lip’s a dad now and he’s got a great girlfriend. Liam’s at the top of his class at school, Debbie’s a welder and raising Franny, Carl graduated military school, I’m an EMT and Mickey’s my fucking husband.” 

His voice is soft as he aggressively picks at the grass again. 

“I married my best friend, no thanks to you. You know, the day you died was the day I thought I lost Mickey, too. Can you fucking believe that? And I was the only one who really missed you because...I missed Mickey. Because you and Frank were fucking nuts, and Mickey and I...we were fucking nuts.”

He chuckles again then sniffles, wiping his cheeks and nose with the back of his hand

“And now I’m married to him. Me, my fucked up self. He still wanted me after all the shit I pulled on him, because you know what, mom? You wanna know why?”

He probably looks like an absolute crazy person screaming and crying in front of his mom’s grave, but he doesn’t give a shit. All this pent up anger he’s been feeling these last few years towards her, all this shit he wishes he would’ve said to her when she was alive, is finally coming out. And Ian’s letting it.

“Because he loves me. And I still loved him. Even after you made me feel like shit and after you said he wouldn’t understand. He understands. He’s always understood me.”

It feels good, being able to get this shit off his chest without her being around, honestly. Sure, Ian and Monica were alike in many ways, but Ian was never Monica when it came to his meds, when it came to him feeling worthless and unwanted. He’s never been Monica and he made that pretty fucking clear after years and years of being treated like her. 

“So I just wanted to tell you that. You once told me that...people like us, with our issues and fucked up heads, that we can be happy. That we can find happiness and love. And...I found that long before this fucking diagnosis came over me. _Long_ before it took away my strength. Mickey’s that for me, he’s _always_ been that for me.”

The breeze blows again and Ian plucks a dandelion sitting near the gravestone. He twirls it in his fingers then blows on it, watching the little plumes fly away in the wind. He sets the empty stem down on top of the gravestone, then stands up, taking a breath and staring at the stone one last time. 

“I’m not sorry for screaming at you. You sort of ruined our lives, but...I miss you. And I wish you could’ve seen me marry him, mom. _Fuck,_ I wish you could’ve seen how happy we are. How happy Mickey makes me and how happy he is when he’s with me. You’d be proud of me...of all of us, I think.”

The wind blows again and Ian looks up at the sky. He doesn’t believe in spirits, he doesn’t really believe in the afterlife or shit like that. He doesn’t believe in signs or whatever the fuck you want to call them. But he’s pretty sure the wind blowing was Monica’s way of saying she forgave him and that she missed him too. He smiles, looks down at the empty dandelion stem resting on the gravestone one last time, and utters, “see ya later, mom,” and walks away without looking back again.

When he gets home, Mickey’s awake making coffee and sitting in the kitchen with Liam. He’s talking to him about math problems and Ian listens quietly from the stairs as Mickey tries to explain the pythagorean theorem to his baby brother. He takes off his shoes, tosses his jacket on the couch, makes his way into the kitchen without trying to disturb the scene going on in front of him. Mickey’s face instantly lights up when he sees him come into the kitchen to pour himself some coffee. Liam smiles and gets up from the table, grabbing his backpack and disappearing upstairs. Ian chuckles behind his coffee cup as he watches his little brother leave the room and Mickey stands from the table, walking over to his husband.

“Where’d you disappear to?” Mickey stands on his tiptoes to kiss Ian on the lips and he smiles against it. He presses his forehead against Mickey’s, just looking at him for a second.

“To see my mom.” 

Mickey lets out a soft breath, closes his eyes, runs his thumb along Ian’s cheek.

“You okay?”, he whispers, Ian shrugs. 

“I yelled a lot, but...it’s not like she can hear me or anything. I just...needed to get it out.”

“I get it.” He rubs the back of Ian's neck.

“I told her we got married,” Ian blurts, Mickey smiles. Even though Monica wasn’t around anymore, he knew how hard it had been to even tell her headstone that. Monica wanted what was best for Ian, and her kids, but she had always gone about it the wrong way. And that had made Ian and Mickey’s relationship falter in the past, because Ian believed her. 

“Did she have anything to say?”, Mickey jokes and Ian chuckles.

“Nahh, she was pretty okay with it, I think.” Ian smiles again and Mickey laughs lightly at the dark humor of it all. 

“Liam really disappeared upstairs?”, Ian changes the subject, leaning back against the counter top, taking Mickey with him. 

“Probably thought we were gonna fuck on the counter.”

Ian quirks an eyebrow at him and Mickey winks. Maybe next time…

“I love you.” Ian runs his thumb over Mickey’s lips and he smiles, leans up to kiss him again. Ian sets his coffee cup down, and just holds him. Mickey holds him too, feeling each other’s warmth and skin and lips and breaths as they just _hold_ one another. 

“I love you more,” Mickey finally whispers, and Ian smiles again. He wishes Monica could see it all. Could see the shine in Mickey’s eyes, his smile, could hear his laugh, and the way he looks at Ian like he’s the entire universe. The way Ian looks at him like he’s never seen anyone like him in his life. Mickey makes him happy, makes him feel like he can breathe again, and he wishes Monica could see that. Wishes she could see how much he means to Ian. He’s sure she knows now though. He doesn't believe in spirits or ghosts or even signs, but he’s pretty sure Monica is looking down on him and Mickey, and smiling at her son’s endless happiness.


End file.
